Know Yourself to Lead Yourself: Do You Undermine or Elevate Your Leadership Influence?
Do you know what is is actually like to be on the other side of you?
Can you pinpoint what triggers certain tendencies?
Do others make statements such as: “you talk too much,” or “you always cut me off,” or “you never just tell me what you really think the first time I ask you,” ..
Or even, “why do you always get defensive when …”, “why do you shut down when I say …. “
What we find is that most leadership breakdowns don’t begin in public - they begin in private patterns.
Under stress, or in areas where we lack development, many of us cope in ways that quietly erode both our health and our influence.
We overeat or skip meals.
We choose more work over sleep - or sleep to escape responsibility.
We avoid workouts because we’re “too busy.”
We shut down emotionally or become short-tempered.
We say yes to everything - or avoid taking on responsibility altogether.
These behaviors feel justified in the moment.
“I’ll rest later.”
“I deserve this.”
“It’s just a busy season.”
“I don’t have time.”
But over time, these small choices compound.
Energy drops.
Clarity dulls.
Patience thins.
Credibility weakens.
Influence deteriorates long before anyone says it out loud.
Without awareness, those patterns don’t just affect our health - they affect our teams, our families, and the culture we create.
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To know others and lead them well, we must first become disciplined students of ourselves.
Self-awareness is not self-criticism. It is observation without defensiveness.
You don’t have to fix everything at once.
But you do have to notice.
Because the patterns you tolerate privately are the ones that eventually shape your influence publicly.
Stabilization begins here - not with intensity, but with awareness.
Private self-discipline. Public credibility.
Know thyself, lead thyself. You’ve got this.
CHALLENGE OF THE WEEK:
Master the art of Knowing Yourself so you can master Leading Yourself:
Ask the people closest to you or spend frequent time with you: what is it like to be on the other side of me?
Write down 1 tendency that currently undermines your influence. Go through the loop writing down the pattern (when/why it happens), the action (what you usually do in that moment), the consequence (what is the immediate result of your action), and the reality (what environment, culture or dynamic is created).
Take that same tendency and finish the loop, this time, with identifying a healthy action you will commit to trading up the unhealthy action for, and the consequence and reality this creates.
Choose and connect with an Accountability Partner. Checkin with a trusted person as you commit to this healthy action.
REFLECTION:
How long has this one tendency been undermining your influence?
What is the cost (time, money, resources, emotional capital) you’ve been expending?
What is one healthy action you are committed to doing this week to invest in a healthier you?
NEXT STEPS:
As you come along this weekly year-long journey, I invite you to a complimentary 90-minute taste at what it looks like to experience a Healthy Culture in your teams, organizations, and homes. Find out more about our Healthy Culture Seminar through this link.
->Want to get clearer, specifically, on your Physical Health?
Contact me via any of these communication mediums , I’m happy to help!
In your corner,
Darien
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